Poem to my mother

And one day, she’s gone, she’s no more, and you are there, feeling vulnerable like the kid wearing brackets that you once were. And you feel rage and confusion and alone, alone on the whole planet, even if it’s overpopulated with 8 billion people.

And the only thing you have left are some digital photos taken of the Polaroids, that collection of beautifully taken Polaroids of you and her, stolen by someone breaking into your house when you lived in Colombia. And they steal that, and you wish they had stolen something else. And you’re still in your 30’s. It is way too early for her to part. But she’s no more.

And then you become numb, you feel nothing, and even if you died it wouldn’t really matter. Lost in foreign lands, alone, more than ever, even surrounded by thousands of people. But you don’t even care, there is no way back. She’s no more.

And then you start coming back to life because you were kind of dead, senseless, emotionless, directionless. But love starts running in your veins, little by little, you feel somehow alive. Then more and more. And you are back. But something has changed in you. You are not the same. You are not the little girl with brackets and blond strands of hair anymore. You are not vulnerable like that girl. You’re strong now, and nothing can destroy you, nothing can affect you because the worst already happened.

And you go through life, and you just wanna enjoy it. It is too short for sorrow. Now you are strong. Nothing can bring you down no more. You have tasted the strongest bitterness, you’re strong now.